The assignment sounded simple and certainly not a chore: drive Vauxhall’s historic press fleet Royale Coupé from Monte-Carlo to Geneva, via Grenoble. Stay at the best hotels, eat like a king and drink the finest wines – all on us.
Yet somehow the circumstances didn’t fit the car. What would a Vauxhall Royale Coupé be doing in Monte-Carlo exactly? Let’s be kind and sideline the pub-landlord allusions for once. As I ease the gold Royale away from Casino Square, I can’t help feeling like the prosperous owner of a Blackpool amusement arcade on a fact-finding mission.
Perhaps my attitude sums up the social predicament in which this coupé found itself from the moment it was launched in 1978.
For better or worse, Vauxhall’s post-war big-car traditions were steeped in the two-dimensional luxobarge world of the Cresta and the Viscount, those soft, soggy saloons for the caravan-towing classes with an American style but a very British appeal. They had to look large and impressive, and sell to a kind of customer who had no dynamic expectations of them.