Turning the isolator switch and flicking the starter wakes the Jag as a trail of blood-red LEDs across the dash spell out SPECTRE.
Depressing the clutch provokes a buzz of mechanical and computational chatter as the V8 flashes angrily up the rev range, filling the cabin with a raucous chorus before settling to a rough idle.
Despite the unconventional controls, the car is remarkably easy to get to grips with: the pedals work as you would expect, while all forward gears and reverse are controlled with the single paddle.
It’s hugely satisfying, too, producing a pneumatic ‘dum-chsssh’ with each lightning-quick change. The light clutch is unnatural yet effective, and pulling away is uneventful.
Until you test the throttle. The thumping V8 is tremendously powerful in the F-type, but when mated to a supercar that weighs so little and is geared for low-speed stunts, the fun really starts.
Intricate 12-spoke alloys wear vast 255/35 ZR20 Michelins
Acceleration is blistering, with the ’box holding each ratio for mere seconds. Firing through the revs produces an aural assault – with no sound deadening to speak of and thin glassfibre panels amplifying the noise from the mid-mounted engine, the racket is electrifying.
The whole package encourages you to push on, but come across a corner – particularly on a damp circuit strewn with leaves – and you become frightfully aware of the car’s limitations.
This C-X75 was designed with two purposes: to look beautiful, which it does well, and to go sideways, which we imagine – if you possess the skill of Ivanov – it does very well.
For us mere mortals, things are more cautious. Turn-in is sharp, but the chassis is incredibly stiff and twitchy. There’s a sense that the rear wants to step out at any minute, and after a few laps you realise that every muscle is tensed as you grip the wheel and strain against the harness.
It may be perfectly suited to howling around Rome in pursuit of an Aston Martin, but perhaps less so to normal road conditions.
The tail feels twitchy and eager to break away in fast corners
It’s a cruel irony that the basest, most animalistic version of the C-X75 is the one that stands the best chance of being spotted in the wild.
Stepping out of this Jaguar, it’s impossible not to glance over your shoulder and think about what might have been.
The firm’s most technologically advanced and aesthetically pleasing car since the XJ13 and XJ220 was snuffed out not by an accident or devastating economic downturn, but by a schizophrenic fit of self-doubt.
Rather than avoid a white elephant, Jaguar threw away a winning lottery ticket.
Images: Tony Baker
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Greg MacLeman
Greg MacLeman is a contributor to and former Features Editor of Classic & Sports Car, and drives a restored and uprated 1974 Triumph 2500TC